Flea Update

I'm afraid that I have lost some serious eco-credibility today.

When I woke up this morning, I realised that the bites had climbed up my legs with alarming speed. They were now mid-thigh. Action needed to be taken. Immediately.

A quick call to the vets informed me that the cats were due a booster vaccination anyway. A couple of months ago.

Later on, following what seemed like hours of wild fun and games enticing the dear little kitties into their travel cases, we all found ourselves in a small white room. The vet inspected them carefully. The two sulking feline beauties were then given shots of vaccine, injected brutally but seemingly painlessly into the scruff of their necks. Then the vet brought out 2 tiny vials of clear liquid and dotted them onto their backs and heads.

I then realised what I had done. Oh god, I was letting my darling cats be smeared in toxic chemicals. All because of my vanity. I felt terrible.

But then the kind vet told me what would happen if I didn't use this miraculous remedy every month. We would all die of ringworm, tapeworm and flea bites. In only a matter of weeks. So it had been completely necessary, of course. I didn't ask him about the garlic.

The vet then commented on their general health. Bathsheba's weight could potentially be a problem in future. He highlighted, rather ungentlemanly, the little pouch of spare fur between her legs - oh! the indignity of the situation. Diggory Venn was considered lean and long for his age but tartar was developing on his teeth. There was little I could do there and then about Bathsheba's potential future obesity in her nether regions but I was given two options to sort out Diggory Venn's dental hygiene problem with immediate effect:

1. Buy a baby's toothbrush and brush his teeth every day;
2. Buy a packet of cat food, with a crunchy coating so hard the tartar just crumbles off.

Surprisingly, I went for option 2.

Armed with 3 months' supply of small vials and a bag of tooth-crunching/plaque-destroying cat biscuits I proceeded to the desk.

'That'll be £120.15 please'.

Ah.

At least my stir-fry was rather good tonight. I chopped up an extra fresh chilli from my chilli plant to try to cope with my shame and shock.

Salmon and scallops with coriander and lime

Serves 4

12 mins preparation

8 mins cooking


6 tbsp groundnut oil
280g salmon steak, skinned and cut into 2.5cm chunks
225g scallops
3 carrots, sliced thinly
2 celery sticks, cut into 2.5cm pieces
2 orange peppers, sliced thinly
175g oyster mushrooms, sliced thinly
1 clove garlic, crushed
6 tbsp chopped fresh coriander
3 shallots, sliced thinly
2 limes, juiced
1 tsp lime zest
1 tsp dried chilli flakes (or fresh chillies if you are feeling shameful)
3 tbsp dry sherry
3 tbsp soy sauce

Cooked noodles, to serve

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In a large frying pan or wok, heat the oil over a medium heat. Add the salmon and scallops and stir-fry for 3 minutes. Remove from the pan, set aside and keep warm.

Add the carrots, celery, peppers, mushrooms and garlic to the pan and stir-fry for 3 minutes. Add the coriander and shallots and stir.

Add the lime juice and zest, dried red pepper flakes, sherry and soy sauce and stir. Return the salmon and scallops to the pan and stir-fry very carefully for another minute.

Serve immediately on a bed of cooked noodles.